January 15th 1996 "Bring me souls." it spoke to …
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January 15th 1996
“Bring me souls.” it spoke to me. A voice so loud and intense. I heard, I could do nothing else. I read somewhere that the son of Sam killer listened to a voice that came out of his dog. A voice that he couldn’t ignore that told him explicitly what to do, Who to kill, and in what manner. All very precise, intricate and most importantly, it was un-ignorable.
And how do we stop this. If good ole’ Mr. Sam would have told anyone that he was hearing voices coming out of his dog, they would have thought him insane. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that. I would hope it would pass, I would try to cope with “reality”, when the truth of the matter is that I can’t figure out what is real and what isn’t. It’s very hard to ask for help when you know you need it, in a society the way it currently stands.
So upon hearing this voice, you understand, I knew it wasn’t real, not in the fact that there was an actual person. The voice wasn’t attached to a person who was commanding me to action, but that knowledge didn’t make it any easier to refuse it’s bidding.
“Bring me souls.” And I did.
I found the seduction of needles in the middle of my need. It satisfied everything. Mothers love, lover’s thought, genius mind, creative spirit, epiphany. I was a devoted disciple of the cult of the red orchid. I knew the delusion it presented, but it didn’t matter. It wanted, I gave. Gave up the ghost. Became one and called for others.
The first I made was Jayce. It was our secret. His girlfriend would have nothing of it, so we were quiet about our afternoon episodes. This sounds like an affair, but I assure you, I was loyal to my goddess Heroiche, I gave Jayce to it, baptized him in the endorphin overload and then to seal the introduction and seduction, I gave myself. It was incidental. When you’re on junk sex isn’t commitment, it’s just something to do if you can. We could, so in between periods of consciousness we did. His girlfriend never found out. Jayce is in jail now.
The second I gave was Hossam. New to the drug, new to sex, new to all the bad boy things. He had the willingness however and that look in his eyes. He was a quick learner and I was a good teacher, and in the course of seven days Mr. “I’ll never do a drug out a needle and I’ll only be sexual with the woman I’ll marry who’ll of course be a virgin, was mainlining himself and fucking me, who was his best friends girlfriend at the thyme.
The third was Peekay. He was a good junky. Endurance like me. Go go go. But later in his addiction he had the balls to blame his fucking habit on me. I wouldn’t have that.
Together we made the fourth. And that was Denina, Peekay’s little sister. All of seventeen when she got first shot in the arm and Upon her first taste of the life-force red that will sustain her for all the future, she states with conviction “I want more.” Denina knew where she wanted to be.
The fifth was not one that I made, but one that I altered to a deeper pace and appreciation. He was another disciple. Trent. Together we practiced so that we could survive the ends of the universe. We explored all the houses of Heroiche.
- The Sixth was Dusty.
- THE SEVENTH WAS BRIAN WELTON.
- THE EIGTH WAS JOSH.
- THE NINTH WAS CHRIS PULSE.
- THE TENTH WAS JOANNE.
- THE ELEVENTH WAS KERRIE.
- THE TWELVTH WAS MIKE.
- THE THIRTEENTH WAS JEFF.
Their stories haven’t been written yet…but give me time.
