Break your finger, it is done
The moon has now eclipsed the sun
The angel has spread its wings
The time has come for better things.

[Journal From 09.22.98]

Imperial development scores the senses of ideas of what used to register as entertaining long since passed into that universal oblivion. The focus now centers on my progression. The advancement of the self and senses into a mesh sublime. We’ve drawn the essence and the energies of this arena until we were full. Sucked dry all that is interesting and unwittingly left corpses of those that remained in stasis. For in our lives EVERYTHING is a process. Thee Process

I gleam with the excitement of this current chapter in the Process. The challenge and adventure of having you accompany me on our journey. You are to become my responsibility and I feel honored to have been chosen as your guardian. I will do my best to give you all the best of what I’ve has and to keep my pain from you. My love is deep and passionate and will run eternal for me. I will try to shield you from the drama and to let you grow from your own necessary pain. I will give you the inherited powers of the dreamlands and the lessons needed to turn them into practical measures.

The longer we visit here in NOLA only reinforces the reasons we left here. However a misplaced Passion fueled my departure from the city. I followed an illusion out of my home, which ended in my return to Ohio, which shall be my first home with you. However fast and impetuous we did flee, the groundwork has been laid for a reasonable departure. The shooting, the robberies, carjacking and drinking. The cheap sex and vacant days. The city was caustic and had begun to eat through my protective layers and into my soft parts.

Landing back in Ohio was not in the plan. However, Oma is there and it’s a familiar environment for me to learn about my new life as a mother. I listen to the drivel here in NOLA over pints of beer and cups of cheer which runeth over. Empty discourse and outrageous rantings of these which want to impress the inebriated over opinions to which they have little knowledge of.

And we know that a little knowledge is the most dangerous tool.

Ms. Candice is still behind the bar at the Hideout. Still burning the candle at both ends with a dream that has been put on hold so long she rarely remembers what it is. And she looks at me with envy, and recalls a bit of what it was. But dreams are fueled by the passions of a night and alcohol grows dull and tarnished by sunrise, and is incorporated in that which we sleep off every day until, like the drinks they lose their potency. And slough off like so much dead skin.

Yes, there is a magnificent change in me. You will force me to make decisions with thought, even planning. I will begin to realize that my choices will directly affect something.

Break your finger, it is done
The moon has now eclipsed the sun
The angel has spread its wings
The time has come for better things.

[Journal From 09.22.98]

Imperial development scores the senses of ideas of what used to register as entertaining long since passed into that universal oblivion. The focus now centers on my progression. The advancement of the self and senses into a mesh sublime. We’ve drawn the essence and the energies of this arena until we were full. Sucked dry all that is interesting and unwittingly left corpses of those that remained in stasis. For in our lives EVERYTHING is a process. Thee Process

I gleam with the excitement of this current chapter in the Process. The challenge and adventure of having you accompany me on our journey. You are to become my responsibility and I feel honored to have been chosen as your guardian. I will do my best to give you all the best of what I’ve has and to keep my pain from you. My love is deep and passionate and will run eternal for me. I will try to shield you from the drama and to let you grow from your own necessary pain. I will give you the inherited powers of the dreamlands and the lessons needed to turn them into practical measures.

The longer we visit here in NOLA only reinforces the reasons we left here. However a misplaced Passion fueled my departure from the city. I followed an illusion out of my home, which ended in my return to Ohio, which shall be my first home with you. However fast and impetuous we did flee, the groundwork has been laid for a reasonable departure. The shooting, the robberies, carjacking and drinking. The cheap sex and vacant days. The city was caustic and had begun to eat through my protective layers and into my soft parts.

Landing back in Ohio was not in the plan. However, Oma is there and it’s a familiar environment for me to learn about my new life as a mother. I listen to the drivel here in NOLA over pints of beer and cups of cheer which runeth over. Empty discourse and outrageous rantings of these which want to impress the inebriated over opinions to which they have little knowledge of.

And we know that a little knowledge is the most dangerous tool.

Ms. Candice is still behind the bar at the Hideout. Still burning the candle at both ends with a dream that has been put on hold so long she rarely remembers what it is. And she looks at me with envy, and recalls a bit of what it was. But dreams are fueled by the passions of a night and alcohol grows dull and tarnished by sunrise, and is incorporated in that which we sleep off every day until, like the drinks they lose their potency. And slough off like so much dead skin.

Yes, there is a magnificent change in me. You will force me to make decisions with thought, even planning. I will begin to realize that my choices will directly affect something.