MageJournal post from August 27, 2009 (repost)

// May 29th, 2009 // No Comments » // magick, personal

Entry from MageJournal from August 27, 2008:

Found the middle path through obstacles of dream, filling out and filling in when nothings as it seems.  The lessons learned list on from the tails of orange tabbed kitties.  Undoing scars from reasons past.  You know that’s never pretty.  I offer you my tin can hand.  And my shrapnel place.  You offer me your one last hope, your one last search for grace.  Upon the heaping piles of rot in this charnel ground.  We make our stand and take my hand with damage all around.  Suited up in chaos, knowing nothings as it seems.  We slide ourselves together in the places in between.  Where we might craft ourselves a dream.  A small, unfettered dream.

Placebo – “Battle for the Sun” (complete lyrics)

// May 29th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // life the universe and everything

For those who care, Placebo is releasing a new album on August 6, 2009 (it was supposed to be relased next week, but apparently someone dropped the ball!).  It’s called “Battle for the Sun” and they gave away their title track last month.  Right now, if you sign up for their PLACEBOWORLD site you can listen to the entire release up to five times between now and May 31st.  Isn’t that sweet of them.

So I’ve been listening…and archiving the lyrics:

Battle For The Sun

Track list:

1. Kitty Litter – “Love of mine, this fortress that is our heart, feels much weaker…now that we are apart.”

The way you’re dancing
Makes me come alive
Makes me shiver and perspire
Your surreptitious glancing
The way you crack a smile
Nearly start a fire

So move closer
Want to feel your touch
So come over
Come on

Love of mine
This fortress in our hearts
Feels much weaker
Now we’re apart

Love of mine
This fortress in our hearts
Comes crashing down

I need a change of skin
I need a change

The way you’re moving
Makes me start to sigh
Makes you all that I desire
I shiver off my jeans and I’m so unsatisfied
You’re all that I require

So move closer
Gotta feel your touch
So come over
Come on

So move closer
Gotta feel your touch
So come over
Come on

Love of mine
This fortress in our hearts
Feels much weaker
Now we’re apart

Love of mine
This fortress in our hearts
Comes crashing down

I need a change of skin
I need a change

I need a change, I need a change of skin
I need a change, I need a change of skin
I need a change, I need a change of skin
I need a change, I need a change of skin

Love of mine
This fortress in our hearts
Feels much weaker
Now we’re apart
Love of mine

This fortress in our hearts
Comes crashing down

2. Ashtray Heart

Cenicero, mi cenicero
Mi corazón, mi cenicero
X2

You are the birth and you are waste
You are the one who took my place
You took a jump into forever
A leap of faith I could not take

And it was
A leap of faith I could not take
A promise that I could not make
A leap of faith I could not take
A promise that I could not make

Cenicero, mi cenicero
My ashtray heart
Mi corazón, mi cenicero
X4

You were alone before we met
No more folorn than one could get
How could we know
We had found treasure
How sinister and how correct

And it was
A leap of faith I could not take
A promise that I could not make
A leap of faith I could not take
A promise that I could not make

Cenicero, mi cenicero
My ashtray heart
Mi corazón, mi cenicero
X4

Cenicero, mi cenicero
My ashtray heart
Mi corazón, mi cenicero
X4

I tore the muscle from your chest
Used it to stub out cigarettes
I listened to your screams of pleasure
And I watch the bed sheets turn blood red

Cenicero, mi cenicero
My ashtray heart
Mi corazón, mi cenicero
X4

Cenicero, mi cenicero
My ashtray heart
Mi corazón, mi cenicero
X4

3. Battle For The Sun

I, I, I, will battle for the sun, sun, sun.
And I, I, I wont stop until I’m done, done, done.
You, you, you are getting in the way, way, way.
And I, I, I have nothing left to say, say, say.

I, I, I, I, I will brush off all the dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt.
And I, I, I, I, I will pretend it didn’t hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.
You, you, you, you, you, are a black and heavy weight, weight, weight, weight, weight, weight, weight.
And I, I, I, I, I, will not participate, pate, pate, pate, pate, pate, pate.

Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.

I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun, sun.
Cause I, I, I, have stared down the barrel of a gun, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun.
No fun, you, you, you, you, you are a cheap and nasty fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.
And I, I, I, I, I am the bones you couldnt break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break! 

Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.

[Instrumental Solo]

Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.

I, I, I will battle for the sun.

4. For What It’s Worth

The end of the century
I said my goodbyes
For what it’s worth

I’ve always aimed to please
But I nearly died
For what it’s worth

Come on lay with me
Caus I’m on fire
For what it’s worth

I tear the sun in three
To light up your eyes
For what it’s worth [4x]

Broke up the family
Everybody cry
For what it’s worth

I have a slow disease
That sucked me dry
For what it’s worth

Come on walk with me
Into the rising tide
For what it’s worth

Fill the cavity
You god shaped hole tonight
For what it’s worth [8x]

No one cares when you’re out on the street
Picking up the pieces to make ends meet
No one cares when you’re down in the gutter
Got no friends got no lover [2x]

For what it’s worth got no lover [8x] 
Got no friends got no lover

5. Devil In The Details

I’ve been wasting all my time
With the devil in the details
And I got no energy to fight
He’s a fucking pantomime
The devil in the details

He’s fixing up to take a bite
I don’t see the point in trying
I got the devil in the details
And he’s gonna teach me wrong from right
That fucking pantomime
The devil in the details
Well, I’m gonna dance with him tonight

All of my wrongs
No more wicked ways
Come back to haunt me, come what may
He wrote the songs
That I hoped to write someday
Looks like the devil’s here to stay

Let me take you far away
With the devil in the details
We’ll kiss and tremble with the light
Everything is fine
With the devil in the details
We’re gonna dance with him tonight

All of my wrongs
No more wicked ways
Come back to haunt me, come what may
He wrote the songs
That I hoped to write someday
Looks like the devil’s here to stay
Looks like the devil’s here to stay
Looks like the devil’s here to stay

All of my wrongs
No more wicked ways
Come back to haunt me, come what may
He wrote the songs
That I hoped to write someday
Looks like the devil’s here to stay
Looks like the devil’s here to stay
Looks like the devil’s here to stay

I’ve been wasting all my time
With the devil in the details
I got no energy to fight

6. Bright Lights

Cast your mind back to the days, 
When I pretend’ I was OK.
I had so very much to say, 
About my crazy livin’.

Now that I’ve stared into the void, 
So many people, I’ve annoyed.
I have to find a middle way, 
A better way of livin’.

So I haven’t given up, 
That all my choices, my good luck… 
Appear to go and get me stuck, 
In an open prison.
Now I am tryin’ to break free, 
In a state of empathy.
Find the true and enemy, 
Eradicate this prison.

No-one take it away from me, 
And no-one can tear it apart.
‘Cause a heart that hurts, 
Is a heart that works.
A heart that hurts, 
Is a heart that works.

A heart that hurts, 
Is a heart that works.
No-one take it away from me, 
No-one can tear it apart.
Maybe ‘ an elaborate fantasy, 
But it’s the perfect place place to start.

‘Cause a heart that hurts, 
Is a heart that works.
A heart that hurts, 
Is a heart that… works.

7. Speak In Tongues

Kitty came back home from on the island
But kitty came on home without a name
She and me’s a history for violence
So I long, I burn to touch her just the same

So we both can both can speak in tongues
So we both can both can speak in tongues

Every single sense in me is heightened
There’s nothing left inside to rearrange
Like a slave to history and science
I long, I burn to touch you just the same

So we both can both can speak in tongues
So we both can both can speak in tongues

Until the universe is done
And the course of time has run
So we both can both can speak in tongues

Don’t let them get their way
Don’t let them have their way
You’re beautiful and so blasé
So please don’t let them have their way
Don’t fall back into the decay
There is no law we must obey
So please don’t let them have their way
Don’t give in to yesterday

We can build a new tomorrow, today
We can build a new tomorrow, today
We can build a new tomorrow, today
We can build a new tomorrow, today

8. The Never-Ending Why

The atom will implode
The fragile kingdom fall
The tremor becomes a quake
There’s a body in the lake

And as the two of us rebel
Damn you all to hell
I wonder if that’s all there is

Time will help you through
But it doesn’t have the time
To give you all the answers to the never-ending why

The sound of silence grows
As spiders kissing fly
And the tumor becomes a rhyme
But the kids are doing fine

And as the two of us rebel
And damn you all to hell
I wonder if that’s all there is

Time will help you through
But it doesn’t have the time
To give you all the answers to the never-ending why

9. Julien

The payback is here
Take a look, it’s all around you
You thought you’d never she’d a tear
So this must astound, must confound you

Buy a ticket for the train
Hide in a suitcase if you have to
This ain’t no singing in the rain
This is a twister that will destroy you

You can run but you can’t hide
Because no one here gets out alive
Find a friend in whom you can confide
Julien, you’re a slow motion suicide

Fallen angels in the night
And every one is far from heaven
Just one more hit to make it right
But every one turns into seven

Now that’s it’s snowing in your brain
Even ten will not placate you
This ain’t no cure for the pain
This avalanche will suffocate you

You can run but you can’t hide
Because no one here gets out alive
Find a friend on whom you can rely
Julien, you’re being taken for a ride

You can run but you can’t hide
Because no one here gets out alive
Find a friend in whom you can confide
Julien, you’re a slow motion suicide
Slow motion suicide…

10. Happy You’re Gone

Breathe me
Everytime you close your eyes
Taste me
Every time you cry
This memory will fade away and die
Just for today
Breathe me and say goodbye

[Chorus]
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can’t look you in the eye
Now I can’t look you in the eye
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can’t look you in the eye

See me
In the eyes of mother’s child
Turn away
When you see me walkin’ by
Once in a while
This melody will fade away and die
Just for today
Breathe me and say goodbye

[Chorus]
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can’t look you in the eye
Now I can’t look you in the eye
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can’t look you in the eye

I don’t even want to try

[Chorus]
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can’t look you in the eye
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can’t look you in the eye

11. Breathe Underwater

Here comes another fall from grace, 
I’m always falling on my face.
This attitude that I embrace, 
With a love I’m trying to replace.

Try to kill this song, 
‘Cause the melody’s all wrong.
And there’s a beaver, comin’ on.

It’s hard to reconcile, 
What I’ve become.
With the wounded ch-i-ld, 
Hiding deep ins-i-yide.

Breathe underwater, 
I’m comin’ up for air! 
I wanna see another dawn, 
Comin’ up for air! 
S-i-ck of the slaughter, 
I’m comin’ up for air! 
‘Cause I’ve floating here too long.

Take my ego for a ride, 
‘Cause there’s nobody by my side.
It’s getting hard to justify.
And it won’t be long ’til I collide.
My weakness laid bare, 
As people stop and stare.
But It’s the last time, I swear.

It’s hard to reconcile, 
What I’ve become.
With the wounded ch-i-ld, 
Hiding deep ins-i-yide.

Breathe underwater, 
I’m comin’ up for air! 
I wanna see another dawn, 
Comin’ up for air! 
S-i-ck of the slaughter, 
I’m comin’ up for air! 
‘Cause I’ve floating here too long.

Stop breathing… 
Stop breathing… 
Stop breathing… 
Stop breath-ing! 

Breathe underwater, 
I’m comin’ up for air! 
I wanna see another dawn, 
Comin’ up for air! 
S-i-ck of the slaughter, 
I’m comin’ up for air! 
‘Cause I’ve floating here too long.

I’m coming, I’m coming… , 
I’m coming, ‘ coming… 
Comin’ up for air… 
Comin’ up for air!

12. Come Undone

You don’t know how you’re coming across
You don’t know how you’re coming across
You don’t know how you’re coming across
You don’t know how you’re coming across
So you come undone

You don’t know how you’re coming across
Acting like you don’t give a toss
Walking around like you’re on some kind of cross
And it’s a shame on you, the irony’s lost
When you come undone
You know, you come undone
You know, you know, you know

You don’t know how you’re coming across
You don’t know how you’re coming across
And I don’t think that you are aware of the cost

So you come undone
You come
You come undone
You know, you know.

13. Kings Of Medicine

They’re pickin’ up pieces of me, 
While they’re pickin’ up pieces of you.
In a bag you will be, before the day is over.
Were you looking for somewhere to be.

Or looking for someone to do.
Stupid me, to believe that I could trust in stupid you.
And on the back of my hand, 
Were, directions I could understand.
Now that old buzzard Johnny Walker, 
Has gone and ruined all our plans.
Our best-made plans.

Don’t leave me here, to cast through time, 
Without a map, or road sign. 
Don’t leave me here, my guiding light, 
‘Cause I, I, wouldn’t know where to begin.
I asked the Kings of Medicine. 

They’re pickin’ up pieces of me, 
While they’re pickin’ up pieces of you.
Lying on ice you will be before the day is over.
It’s a case in point baby, 
That you never thought it through.
Stupid me, that I could depend on stupid you.
And on the tip of my tongue,
Were, words that came out all wrong.

‘Cause they were drowned in Southern Comfort, 
Left to dry-out in the Sun, 
The noon-day Sun.

Don’t leave me here, to cast through time, 
Without a map, or road sign. 
|Don’t leave me here, my guiding light, 
‘Cause I, I, wouldn’t know where to begin.

I asked the Kings of Medicine, 
But it seems that they’ve lost their powers.
Now all I’m left with is the hour.

Don’t leave me here, to cast through time, 
Without a map, or road sign. 
Don’t leave me here, my guiding light, 
‘Cause I, I, wouldn’t know where to begin.
I asked the Kings of Medicine, 
But it seems that they have lost their powers.
Now all I’m left with is the hour.

Don’t leave me here, 
Don’t leave me here, oh no-oh, 
I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Bat for Lashes – “Moon and Moon”

// May 27th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything, personal

For Spook…who seems to think that I don’t listen to much music sung by females!!!

lover you need to lay with me
I’m a hauntress
for a husband lost at sea
if i had you here we’d be here together
i’d be boy and you’d be girl
beautiful

calling moon and moon
shoot that big bad hand
it’ll track me to your door
and i won’t see more more more

when this wild world raises big bad hand
pushing on my back do you understand?
when i get home, getting in the jungle
where’s is my bed to lick me clean
feed my soul milk and honey

calling moon and moon shoot the big bad hand
it’ll track me to your door i won’t see more more more

Underware Tales

// May 27th, 2009 // No Comments » // funny-bone

[2:36:57 PM] china.darrington: after shaking my booty in gliter and strings for too many years, I yearned for ‘granny panty” comfort

[2:37:05 PM] china.darrington: granny panties WERE sexy to me!

[2:37:17 PM] china.darrington: but five years have passed…and I wanted something a little more…sultry!

[2:37:26 PM] china.darrington: a little more girly!

[2:37:26 PM] Claire: ive just got pants

[2:37:35 PM] china.darrington: that’ more than P has!

[2:37:47 PM] Claire: not granny not sexy and well comfortable than most knickers i see

[2:38:06 PM] Claire: i have conservitive underwear!

[2:38:09 PM] Claire: thats it

[2:38:11 PM] china.darrington: although I did get him in a pair of my red frilly lacey knickers once!

[2:38:17 PM] Claire: china you have liberal underwear

[2:38:23 PM] china.darrington: liberal underwear?

[2:38:34 PM] Claire: yes, putting it into politics

[2:38:54 PM] Claire: your is liberal mines is conservative/republican

[2:39:05 PM] china.darrington: ah…well mine is just recently GETTING more liberal

[2:39:06 PM] Claire: actually no conservative isnt quite republican in terms of underwear

[2:39:14 PM] Claire: they do have big granny bloomers

[2:39:17 PM] china.darrington: I’ve been firmly in the conservative camp for quite a bit

[2:39:24 PM] china.darrington: almost puritanical!

[2:39:33 PM] Claire: ive just got ones that do the job of acting as pant

[2:39:54 PM] Claire: if you wore granny knicker you were republican

[2:40:05 PM] Claire: anas wearing frillys is a bit socialist

[2:40:26 PM] china.darrington: and p not wearing any at all?  anarchist?

[2:40:37 PM] Claire: nihilist

[2:40:54 PM] china.darrington:

[2:41:10 PM] Fahad: spook goes commando?

[2:41:13 PM] china.darrington: well I’m turning into a bit of an old romantic!

[2:41:18 PM] Claire: but hell i dont know what he has down there so it might be the anarchist

[2:41:22 PM] Claire: who knows…

[2:41:24 PM] Claire: you actually

[2:41:26 PM] Claire: lol

[2:41:26 PM] Fahad: (puke)

[2:41:29 PM] china.darrington: I do not think that spook has EVER adorn himself with underwear…

[2:41:37 PM] china.darrington: i think its against his religion!

[2:41:57 PM] china.darrington: yes…but I do not kiss and tell!  bad form!

[2:42:00 PM] china.darrington:

[2:42:02 PM] Claire: ah so he is one of those who dont vote in political affairs of underwear

[2:42:10 PM] Claire: no no tell tell!

[2:42:18 PM] Claire: i am eager to know and learn

[2:42:20 PM] china.darrington: he may vote in OTHERS underwear affairs!

[2:42:31 PM] Claire: yeah i can imagine  ha

[2:42:40 PM] china.darrington: you know…I think we should ALL snip this particular section of conversation out and post it to ALL of our BLOGS!!!

[2:42:47 PM] Fahad: yes!!!!!

[2:42:50 PM] china.darrington:

[2:42:59 PM] Claire: yes

[2:43:00 PM] Claire: lol

[2:43:13 PM] china.darrington: and entitle it THE TALES OF COMMANDO SPOOK AND THE ARMY OF NO-DRAWERS!!!

[2:43:15 PM] Fahad: say something else that’s embarrasing to him so i can put the convo up

PAS-Meriti: TPoI&O – Ch.4. “Durative Event”

// May 26th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // PAS, magick

“A Visit to the Durative”

• 60 mins.
• Pen/Paper
• Music

Instruction:  Recall events (personal) stored in “durative time”.

1. Birth of M
2. Samhain parade @ GACC
3. Fae nook xmas
4. IBH visits from M
5. M holding J
6. M on pink beanbag with J
7. J visits
8. Hero
9. Snuggling with M/post-back surgery
10. Trips to NOLA

1. Study list; allow heart and mind to be energized.
2. Apply “god-ed” sense to events
   1. “see” with the eyes of Ra
   2. “feel” with Isis’s touch
   3. “fly” with Heru’s wings
   4. “touch” wiht Anpu’s hands
   5. ‘breathe” with Nebet-Het’s air
3. Hold out hands and mold the material of time and space.  Become an Isis assembling her own Osiris.
4. Bathe in the simultaneous celebration of those events.
5. Chose an event which made a difference and go to that time/place where it is always happening.
6. Become the “High Witness” and create a new pattern of possibility
7. Allow a “golden fishing net” flow out under the guidence of Isis and her role as weaver of the patterns of time and space.  Let it melt into your body.

Then ask:

1. What do I want from the Universe?
   1. I want to reconcile duality
   2. to achieve wholeness
   3. to go home.
2. What does the universe want from me?
   1. To do my duty
   2. To serve my Will
   3. To reconcile
3. What do we, the Universe and I, want together?
   1. To reunite
   2. To become One

Protected: May Dark Moon – Uri Taunts

// May 25th, 2009 // Enter your password to view comments. // life the universe and everything, magick, personal

Storypeople: Too Busy

// May 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // funny-bone, spirit

Here’s the Story of the Day:

Abandon hope all ye who enter here because we’ve got too much stuff to do to be ready for the future to be sitting around hoping.

Buddhism: Your Daily Meditation

// May 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // spirit

Damnable Crossroads

// May 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything, personal

Fishes in the pond they swim round and round
All about the day it goes down and down
Then you hit the screen in town, in town
And leave me to it in the cave…the wasteland…alone

 With a big fucking red angel who said who said
“You just gotta do it. Cut off the head, the head.
Or I’ll do it for ya instead, instead.
And the volume goes up and my sanity it roams

And the pictures, pretty pictures, play on and on
Layered mirrored trackbacks of the wrongs, the wrongs
And syrup sticky cut ins of things I don’t wanna see…not me. Not me.
And they think I can take it, they’re wrong.  They’re wrong.

Bad Religion “Heaven is Falling”

// May 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

(more…)

Jeffrey McDaniel – “Hunting For Cherubs”

// May 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

Hunting For Cherubs

If you heard your lover scream in the next room

and you ran in and saw his pinkie on the floor, in a small puddle of blood.

You wouldn’t rush to the pinkie and say, 

‘Darling, are you OK? ‘

No, you’d wrap your arms around his shoulders 

and worry about the pinkie later.

The same holds true if you heard the scream, 

ran in and saw his hand or -god forbid- his whole arm.

But suppose you hear your lover scream in the next room, 

and you run in and his head is on the floor next to his body.

Which do you rush to and comfort first? 

Jeffrey McDaniel 

Storypeople: Confusing

// May 23rd, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

Buddhism: Your Daily Meditation

// May 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // spirit

Duty by Aleister Crowley

// May 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // magick, spirit

From time-to-time I find myself in transitions and when I do I need to evaluate my “obligations’ and “responsibilities” and to do that I need to re-evaluate some concepts of Dharma or “duty”.  What do I want from the universe?  What does the universe want from me?  What do I and the universe want of eachother?  I find that a re-reading of Aleister Crowley’s “Duty” often helps begin this process.

Duty

by Aleister Crowley

(a note on the chief rules of practical conduct to be observed by those who accept the Law of Thelema.)

“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.”

“There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.”

“…thou hast no right but to do thy will. Do that and no other shall say nay. For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.”

“Love is the law, love under will.”

“Every man and every woman is a star.” (more…)

Romantic Vibration Path

// May 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // magick, personal, spirit

Vibration No 1:

The use and management of power in a harmonic way is no secret to either of you. You set the rules, and organize and govern the relationship to the best of your understanding.  You both need to feel at the center of whatever situation you share. It is true that you can sometimes get too domineering, but at the same time you are tender and passionate if the bond is deep.  Because of your strong personalities, you will most likely have huge quarrels, but they will invariably end up in passionate reconciliation.  You have a recurrent need to change your environment or group of friends at different times of the relationship.  You surrender in Love when you feel admired and valued by your partner. 
Sexually speaking, your energy is very active, even explosive at times. Communication is open as long as you can tune in to the same language.  Art appeals to both of you strongly, and you enjoy common creative projects.  This is a very positive relationship provided you learn to share your needs without intending to dominate each other. 

Storypeople: :*(

// May 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // personal, spirit

the loss is not yours alone, she said, & you will see it in their eyes when they do not think you are watching. How long does it take? I said & she put her hand on my chest & we did not speak

9th: Angel Vidal Mendoza

// May 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // 9th circle

This is just a reminder:  PCP and Parenting DO NOT mix.  If you do PCP, please keep the kiddies far, far away.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) ?

A Bakersfield man with a history of drug abuse remained jailed Monday after allegedly biting out one of his 4-year-old son’s eyes and mutilating the other. 

Angel Vidal Mendoza, 34, has been charged with mayhem, torture, child cruelty and inflicting an injury to a child in the alleged attack on his son, Angelo Mendoza Jr. Bakersfield police said in a search warrant that the child told investigators “my daddy ate my eyes” and that Mendoza appeared to be under the influence of PCP following the April 28 incident. 

After two neighbors found the injured child in the apartment he shared with his father, witnesses told authorities that a man in a wheelchair who turned out to be Mendoza was in the backyard of a nearby vacant home hacking his own legs with an ax, police said. Mendoza was arrested a week later. 

Kern County Jail officials said they did not know whether he had hired an attorney, and online court records do not indicate whether he is represented. Mendoza is scheduled to appear in court Wednesday, when a date for a preliminary hearing in the case is expected to be set. 

Doctors at Mercy Hospital, where the boy is being treated, said it is unclear whether Angelo will regain vision in his right eye or be permanently blinded. 

The case has raised questions about whether the child was being adequately monitored by Kern County’s Child Protective Services department. Mendoza and the child’s 23-year-old mother were charged with being under the influence of PCP in 2006 and pleaded no contest to child cruelty charges in that case, court records show. 

Police said the mother, Desirae Marie Bermudez, was not present when the child’s eyes were injured. There is a $15,000 warrant for her arrest for failing to complete a drug treatment program last year, according to court documents. 

Mendoza has a criminal record going back to 1997 that includes convictions for selling alcohol to a minor, battery and check forgery. 

Officials with Child Protective Services declined to comment on the case.

Drawing: My Pain Body

// May 19th, 2009 // No Comments » // funny-bone, life the universe and everything, magick, personal

This is my own personal pain-body demon…her name is Olga and she’s worried that no body loves her.  She’s always hungry and shy and tried to be fierce and feared…but really she’s just the awkward fat kid from junior high-school hell.

My Pain Body

Hooverphonic: One

// May 19th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9ehaxni9bY

Youre in charge
You always were
Theres no denying
Fire burns
I took alot
But now Im gonna give
Back to you
Whatever I got

Cos we are one
And well always be
You were born first
Forever connected to me
Connected to me

Its not always how you want it to be
We had no choice,oh desperately
I had to leave
Now Im coming back
We had to see
Youre white and Im black

Cos we are one
And well always be
You were born first
Forever connected to me
Connected to me

ASTROCHART (using birth name)

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // magick, personal, spirit

Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at http://alabe.com This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report! 

N. Node is in 01 Degrees Pisces. 
You’re attracted to others who need your assistance. You seem to go out of your way to form relationships with those who are weak, sick, injured, addicted or troubled in some way or other. At your best you can indeed provide the relief that others need. But at times you can be victimized by those who would prey on your good nature and take advantage of you. This can lead to all sorts of negative situations — make sure that those you assist are truly worthy of your time, energy and commitment. A little enlightened self-protectiveness on your part can make your life work much, much smoother! 

ASTROCHART for China

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // magick, personal, spirit

Here is the Astro Chart you requested:

Buddhism: Your Daily Meditation

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // spirit

Inspiring quote from “Biology of Kundalini”

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

If we are each true to our own highest calling, and true to ourselves, we can be true with another…as such it is soul meeting soul. There in is the magic.

http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php?story=Bodywork

R’N Z ELIP, R PMLV RG!

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // personal, spirit

Storypeople: Stuff Cave

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

Here’s the Story of the Day: Stuff Cave cave filled with stuff that people will kill for, which only goes to show you how confused people are about important things

Storypeople: A Fine Start

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything, spirit

Here’s the Story of the Day: Fine Start I would not say I love you so much if you could teach me a better way, I said & she said that’d do fine for now.

DAILY BUDDHIST WISDOM; 051609

// May 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // spirit

The moment we are enlightened within, we go beyond the voidness of a world confronting us.

- The Buddha

Buddhism: Your Daily Meditation

// May 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // spirit

PAS-Meriti: TPoI&O – Ch.4

// May 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // PAS, magick

Mythic & Historic Time/Space:  Background for the Stories of Isis and Osiris.

• “The first time” – how the Gods created the universe.  (p.88) “It begins inside the dark and empty belly of the serpent who is the great Abyss where nothing yet exists.”
• (p.89) “She (Isis) enters the land of the dead in trance and dream and brings back her vision of time eternal through the conception of the divine child, Horus.”
• Exploring the Durative Realm – Ancient Egyptians only had two verb tenses:
  • Singleness
  • Repetitive Events
• Man’s time – or – Gods Time
• (p.92)  Believed the Divine Spark resided in every human
• The Durative Realm & Ritualistic Time; christ is always being crucified, is always being resurrected; Buddha is always under the Bodhi tree, the world is always being created and destroyed.
• From 3000 BC on – June 21, Sothis, Nile overflows – the fields become fertile
• Prehistory; The Time of the Gods; Their land was ruled by 10 gods; PAUT; “born from the chaos of whirling star dust.”
• After Horus there were 9 dynasties of “verneables”  (god-men who were to equivalent to Titans)
• SHEMSU-HOR; human companions of Hurus reigned 13,420 years beginning in 18,000 BC (reigned until 3000 BC)
• The Multicultural Origins of Egypt
• Isis; Queen of Heaven and Earth
• Agrarian (grain) and Nomad; The Roots of the Osiris/Set conflict
  • Northern: Isis & Osiris (black lands)
  • Southern: Anpu & Set (red lands)
    • Khenti = egyptian chieftains, who were buried w/ saluki hunting dogs.
• Set; God of Craftsmen (like Seker/Sokar/Ptah); “The bones of the war god were bones of iron.”
• Horus; “time of Heros and Kings” – Goddess of fertility, life & death, she guarded the cycles of time.
• Hathor: means “House of Horus”.  She birthed the new heroic god, Heru, who became the “saviour-king” (Jesu?)
• Historyh:  The Time of Men; 3000 BC, Narmer was the first to unite lower and upper egypt and become King of both lands.  ”Palette of Narmer.”
• Isis and Osiris in the Punctual Realm:  Egyptians believed their gods came from a mythic land called PUNT
• In Abydos, a tomb existed of an ancient king called Khenti.  This is believed to be the original tomb of Osiris.
• Durative Egypt:  it exists outside local space and time.  ”Ever recurring possibility of transformative consciousness.”

End with PROCESS I:  A Visit to the Durative  –>

StoryPeople: Her Laughter

// May 15th, 2009 // No Comments » // life the universe and everything

Here’s the Story of the Day: Her Laughter The first time her laughter unfurled its wings in the wind, we knew that the world would never be the same.