I need the Yamaha PDX-60BL speaker dock because of the distortion in the fabric of time and space caused by the Large Hadron Collider being turned back on.

This particle accelerator was created to observe the “Higgs Boson” particle (also known as the “God particle”). Some have theorized that the problems with the LHC (it broke the week after it was initially turned on) have been due to time-traveling scientists, responsible for creating the LHC, who have come back to disable their project because of the destruction and peril it creates.

My personal theory is that they are doing this to prevent a zombie apocalypse.

A few months back, they wanted to turn it on again, but were foiled by “a piece of crusty bread” which was dropped by a bird. Now, referring to the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” which tells us that giant ships could be fueled by improbability drives, I propose that this bird, carrying this “bit of crusty bread” decided at this moment, not to *eat* the crusty bread, but to drop it…now, in such a spot to disable the Large Hadron Collider, had traveled back in time and space and was originally carrying a Yamaha PDX-60BL Speaker Dock and it was originally intended to be dropped at my house.

So…please, for the sake of all mankind (and bird-kind), correct this great cosmic wrong, and prevent the zombie apocalypse, by making sure the Yamaha PDX-60BL Speaker Dock arrives in the place that the universe has designed for it. The Darrington Tiny-House-of-Chaos!!!