Archive for category curmudgeon

Date: April 7th, 2010
Cate: china, curmudgeon, editorial, funny-bone, life the universe and everything, personal, sad

Hope & Change

When President Barack Obama campaigned for the presidency of The United States of America he ran on a platform for Hope and Change.  Two most wonderful principles.  And I’ve been a staunch supporter of the president knowing that he 1) had his plate full and 2) came into a house that was pretty wrecked by the previous occupant.

I’ve had some disappointments during this first year.  But I’m a little Pollyanna and I believe!!! I believe in HOPE & CHANGE.

Now….after reading reports that the President has authorized a “kill on sight” order of an American citizen I’m beginning to rethink my ardent support.

Don’t fret, boys and grrrlz.  I still am a firm believer in HOPE & CHANGE.  Just a little different kind.

Meet HOPE & CHANGE Chinagrrrl style….

Hope & Change, chinagrrrl style

Hope & Change, chinagrrrl style

Date: January 18th, 2007
Cate: Great Grey Beast of February, curmudgeon, magick

Ritual – Truth Here Dwells (from Horus-Maat Lodge)

I needed to air our my soul and personality and character this icy winter day. My heart was hard like my life and my judgements were coming quick and covering all with their stereotypes, and began making statements about the way things are and comparing them to “the way they ought to be”. I was being a curmudgeon. I needed to open myself up to the truth, devoid of ego. Devoid of lust of result. This ritual centers me in that intention. I share it now, with you.

TRUTH HERE DWELLS
A Maatian Shamanic Rite
– Aion 131

In the Forest Find the Place of Power Here Offer a Treasure to the Placespirit:

RETURN TO THE LAND THIS IN HONOR AND THANKS AND LOVE RETURN TO THE LAND THAT THE WORDS BE RIGHT THAT THE FEELING BE TRUE THAT THE POWER BE BALANCED RETURN TO THE LAND ALL THAT HINDERS, TWISTS AND BLOCKS ALL RETURNS TO THE LAND

Walk the Spiral Dance inward Humming the Tune Of Thistimeplacerite Feel/see/be the energy flow If not, spiral OUT and leave…
If yes, then collect 5 stones as you spiral Stop & be center Sink roots Sprout and feel saying:

HERE, NOW, PLACE & TIME TRUTH WILL DWELL

Dig a hole& Hum the No-Thing cast the dirt away, humming:

CLEAR, CLEAR, CLEAR…EMPTY

Scry the shadow-hole hum the no-thing It is Clear & Empty:

THERE IS NO-THING
THIS IS TRUTH
THERE IS NO THOUGHT-WORD-DEED
THIS IS TRUTH-IN-ACTION
IT IS…NOT

Take up the stones Handle & Name them feel the truth of these words:

ATTACHMENT TO LIFE
ATTACHMENT TO FEELING
ATTACHMENT TO BODY
ATTACHMENT TO THINGS
ATTACHMENT TO EGO

Throw 1,2,3,4 to S, W, N, E:

LIES CAST OUT RETURN TO THE LAND
DECEPTIONS CAST OUT RETURN TO THE LAND
UNTRUTHS CAST OUT RETURN TO THE LAND
FALSEHOODS CAST OUT RETURN TO THE LAND

Drop the Ego stone behind you:

…WORK TO BE DONE RETURN TO THE LAND…

All empty, silent, earthed Embrace the E, N, W, S, UP, DOWN hum, chant, suck, mudra the currents into the hole The truth-empty-root-currents song comes and:

TRUTH FLOWS IN A WIND !
TRUTH FLOWS IN AN EARTHQUAKE!
TRUTH FLOWS IN A FLOOD!
TRUTH FLOWS IN LIGHTENING!
TRUTH POURS IN TRUTH POURS IN TRUTH POURS IN

Scry the shadow hole See Truth Sing the Song you See there
Plant what you Will To Plant With the Secret Words you Hear Bury it Kiss the Earth Make the Secret Sigil then Revealed Upon the Earth

TRUTH BE HERE
TRUTH BE HERE
TRUTH BE HERE
GROW, FLOWER FLOW WITH POWER
TRUTH BE HERE

Dance the completed Spiral out Carrying the Ego stone Hum the Completion tune Hum the Thanks to All tune Laugh, hug a tree & shed excess energy
Leave. X

*Note: Ego stone can be kept as reminder, returned to earth, added to a sacred pile or left at a shrine.
Date: July 31st, 2006
Cate: JEDI, curmudgeon, life, sad, wisdom

Tonglen talk—unplugged from the Source

This past weekend I was at a retreat in which I lead a short introductory talk on Tonglen meditation. Tonglen is the Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice of “sending and receiving”. Tonglen is a wonderful practice which has given me an understanding how to change those heavy, constricting negative feelings into light and love and compassion. This has shown how we all have a very strong and free core and the heart of the Bodichitta. 

And this weekend I was show just how small and petty I still can be. This weekend I was experiencing some hormonal fluctuations in my being and was short on patients and compassion. When I arrived on Friday evening I could tell I wasn’t completely open. There were some people attending this function whom I would describe from my own self-righteous position as “clingy” and attention seeking. And as a result of my perception of these people I didn’t want to deal with, I “shielded” myself and avoided most conversation with them.

So much for being of benefit to all beings! Or is it being a benefit when you won’t give the attention junkies their fix? I don’t know about that and I know I’m in no place to judge, but I know that my limitations were that my short fuse was not extending much in the way of compassion or loving-kindness. Observation of my own personal defects… Breath in my own awareness of the ropes which prevent my heart from being free. Breath out a healing energy which changes my hiding-tendency to open my heart and be strong in my personal boundaries.

So I give this talk about the transformation and healing power of Tonglen and it happens to be given when I was very disconnected personally from the Source which fuels my fire for these talks. I wonder what is suggested when this happens? Is one supposed to NOT give the talk? Is speaking inauthentically to a group serving to cause more or less suffering? Ideally I would travel with another person who is skilled in this subject as well and if I’m not feeling it, I could pass the baton to them to deliver the talk. But I know that I’ve experienced a talk from a teacher who wasn’t feeling it that particular day. They still talked. And yes…I knew they were not giving their all.

I’ve never asked what is suggested in these situations.